Opposite
by Breathing101
Summary: A mistake Ed makes while trying to find the secret of the Philosopher's Stone causes all of the FMA characters to adapt the opposite personality of the one they had originally.
1. Chapter 1

**Opposite**

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. (Sooooooo Original)

A.N. Muhahahahahahahha…… my first real FMA fic. Hope you like it. Please R and R

* * *

**Chapter One: The Mistake**

Ed pulled the small red bottle out from under his coat. They were so close to finding the secret to make the Philosopher's stone. Again he reached under his jacket and pulled out a syringe full of shimmering blue liquid. He squirted some into the red bottle and stared at it intently.

He felt a surge of disappointment when it appeared nothing would happen. All of the sudden it began to shake. It took Ed so much by surprise that he dropped it. There was a loud explosion and the world went black.

When he awoke he saw several people standing around him. Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye, Havoc, and Fury were watching him closely as he opened his eyes, but something was different about them.

Roy's eyes were covered in thick black glasses and he was looking at the young alchemist with concern. Riza was dressed in a pink top and mini skirt set, which she would never have been caught dead in. Her gun holder and gun were nowhere in sight, she was wearing make-up, and her hair was down and curled. Havoc was missing his customary cigarette, and Fury was wearing a shirt that said 'Down with Dogs. His hair was much longer than it had been, and it was slicked up into a shimmering Mohawk.

"What happened to you guys?" Ed asked meekly, looking around at the unnatural look of the bunch.

"What do you mean what happened to us, Ed?" Roy asked.

"Wait," Ed began, "you just called me Ed."

"Of course Ed."

"Where's Al?" he asked.

"Out with his newest girlfriend," Riza said, "you know how he is."

Ed looked at her incredulously, "Girlfriend?"

"Yeah, poor girl. His flavor of the week." Riza sighed, "I was so heartbroken when he broke it off with me."

"Al went out with you? I must have been asleep for a really long time!"

"Only one day, Ed," Roy asked. "You need to get back to work. I have no more paperwork to do." He said teasingly.

"Why are you talking to me like we're friends?" Ed asked.

Roy looked hurt, "So now we're not friends anymore?"

Ed stared at him, "anymore?"

"Yes anymore. Just yesterday you, Riza, and I were having a long discussion about friendship."

"I can't deal with this anymore. I need to get Al so we can continue our search for the stone."

"The Philosopher's Stone?" Riza asked, wrinkling he nose, "You gave up looking for that _years_ ago. You were never very serious about finding that."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, you were looking for that for about as long as I was in the military."

"You're not in the military?"

"God no. I couldn't stand the guns."

"This is a dream," Ed said.

"I can assure you it's not," Fury said nastily, "I've been wishing my life was a dream for years."

Ed looked them over and then started banging his head against the bedside table of the room he was in. It was then he saw the huge bouquets littering the room. He picked up the one closest to him. The dozen large yellow roses looked very squished inside the thick paper. He picked up the card from the inside.

_Dearest Ed, _

_I hope you get well soon. Envy should be bringing you soup and cookies (Sloth baked of course) sometime today. Maybe I can come by some time this week. Give me a call._

_Lust_

"I've gone crazy," Ed said, head falling onto his folded knees.

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"How's my bestest bestest friend?" Envy asked, bursting through the door. "Oh Good! You're awake."

"Hi Envy," Riza said seductively.

"Hello Miss Hawkeye," Envy answered modestly.

"Errrr….," Riza growled, "You are so clueless!"

Roy was looking at Envy with jealous evident in his gaze, "But you're my girlfriend!" he said. She glared at him.

"Hello Envy," Havoc spoke for the first time, "You haven't picked up smoking have you? You know how bad it is for you."

"No, I haven't," Envy said happily. He walked over to Ed's bedside. "I brought your favorite, Sloth Cookies." He thrust a tray into Ed's hands.

"Thanks," he muttered.

"And Wrath's famous chicken soup!" he handed him another container.

He pulled up the cover and looked in at the cookies. Half were heart shaped with red icing and 'It'll break my heart if your not better soon' written in yellow letters. The other half were flowers with yellow icing on the outside and orange centers.

He picked one up and inspected it carefully. Envy was watching him excitedly. He too looked very different. His hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail, and he was wearing black slacks and a blue button up shirt.

Ed cautiously took a bite. It was delicious.

"Gluttony's not doing well," Envy said, as though Ed had asked, "he's getting skinnier every day! He won't eat a thing."

Ed just nodded, eating another cookie. If he was going to be crazy he might as well enjoy it.

"Oh that reminds me, I left him outside. I'll go get him so you can say hi," he came back in a few minutes later with an unrecognizable Gluttony. He was so skinny you could see his rib bones through his baggy sweater, and his blue shorts revealed chicken white stick legs. His hair was done in a neat bowl cut, and he wore a nervous smile on his face.

"Hullo Ed," he said nervously.

"This is going to far!" Ed yelled, falling off the bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Opposite**

Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own Fullmetal Alchemist

A.N. I am so so so so so so so –insert another millions so's here- sorry for not updating for so long. It's been almost a year! My only excuse is that right after I wrote the first chapter of this I finished the FMA series for the first time, and it made me lose momentum. Recently I've also been suffering from laziness and an extreme addiction to youtube. I actually go into withdrawals. I have figured out a way to use this to my advantage, however. While waiting for videos to load, I shall update. Smart huh? My updating from now on should be much more frequent, and again I am soooooooooo sorry. I'm actually hoping to finish this fic by the end of the summer. Thank so much to all of you that reviewed the first chapter, and the person who added me to their C2. Without you this fanfiction would probably never have been finished.

**Chapter 2**

Gluttony looked shockedly at Ed, and his eyes began to shine with tears. "It's because I'm fat isn't it?" he mumbled. Ed wondered vaguely how he could have gotten 'I hate you because you're fat' from 'this is going to far', but didn't have the brain power to pursue this question.

Suddenly Gluttony burst into motion and bolted out the door. Envy sighed exasperatedly.

"I better go after him," he said, shaking his head, "He always takes these things the wrong way." In truth, he had no idea what Ed had meant either but figured no was not the time to be pondering it, as Gluttony was probably in the bathroom ridding himself of the contents of his stomach as they spoke.

Ed once again slowly picked himself off the floor. The other occupants of the room were looking at him as though he had gone insane, which he quite agreed with.

After a few moments of awkward silence they heard the sound of metal clanking somewhere in the hallway outside accompanied by the laughter of a girl.

"That'll be Al now," Roy said happily, turning expectantly towards the door and looking not unlike a puppy waiting for his master to come home. He was right. A few seconds late the door swung open and in stepped Al, suit of armor and all, followed by an extremely pretty girl with long, silky black hair and large almost black eyes. She was wearing a long frilly skirt with a bright blue skirt and pink jacket.

This was just getting weirder and weirder by the minute.

"Hey Bro," Al said, his voice sounded different somehow, older and more confident, "How ya feeling?"

Ed scratched his head, wondering why Al was talking in slang. "Um, I'm crazy, but other than that I'm fine," he said dully.

Al smiled at him, "Well you've always been crazy bro," he commented, slapping him on the back rather painfully.

A thought suddenly occurred to Ed. "Does anyone know why I'm here?"

They all gave him another you're-crazy look. "Of course Ed," Roy said, pushing up his glasses, "It was a cosmetic surgery gone awry."

Ed's eyes widened. "Cosmetic….surgery?" he asked.

"Yes," Roy said, "You were getting an experimental nose job. Everyone knows how much you hate your nose."

Ed put his head in his hands. Where the hell was he?

They watched him in silence for a moment before Al finally said, "Oh yeah, Ed, meet my new girlfriend, Paninya."

Ed once again fell off the bed. He was beginning to think he should just stay down here.

"Pa…Paninya?" he asked weekly.

She was quite different from when he had met her before. She was a little older of course, but she also looked much better kept. Her hair was longer and shinier, she wore pretty, feminine clothing, but what shocked him most of all was the fact that her automail was gone.

"Hullo Paninya," he whispered, not even bothering to ask.

"She works at a salon in central," Al explained, his armor face shining with happiness. "We just started going out this morning."

Ed pictured the old Paninya. There was no way she would be caught dead working in a salon.

"That's great Al," Ed said meekly. He was starting to get a killer headache.

"Um, are you going to get off the floor?" Riza asked after a few moments.

Ed looked at her confusedly before shaking his head, "I rather like it down here," he stuttered.

Everyone in the room stuttered as the door was thrust open and a tall, blonde nurse scuttled in.

"Hello Edward," she said dully. She seemed to be in an extremely bad mood, which only brightened when she caught sight of Havoc.

"Havoc!" she squealed, throwing her arms around him.

"Hi Win," he smiled, patting her on the shoulder.

Ed would have fallen off the bed again if he were on it. Instead he just smacked his head into the floor.

He could have died. It was Winry.

She and Havoc made small talk for a few moments while Ed wildly looked around in search of something normal, something to orient himself with.

Winry sighed. "I'm sorry Havoc," she sighed, "But I have to deal with this _thing_," she motioned to Ed.

"Come on Win, he's not that bad," Havoc said, putting his arm over her shoulder.

Ed watched the odd couple quietly, a look of utter shock on his face. Who would have thought? Havoc and Winry? He pondered this for a moment and decided the only word for it was utterly disturbing.

Winry just shrugged and made her way towards Ed, setting about her nursly doings without speaking to him.

"Winry," he whispered weakly.

"That's Miss Rockbell to you," she said stonily, checking his blood pressure, "What do you want."

"Nothing," he muttered to the cold ground. She hadn't even bothered to pick him up off the floor.

His world was spinning. He had a feeling something big was going to happen soon, and it did. He fainted.


End file.
